Birssle! Birssle! sing the twa broon kippers
Catched fur the grill bi the North East skippers
Oatcakes, cornflakes, da likes haddies
“Weetabix fur us” cry growin laddies!
Granda’s suppin up pease-meal brose
Gyad! Yon’s scunnerin, haud yer nose.
Granda’s teeth’s in a wee fite mug
Doon gaes the pease-meal — Glug, glug, glug.
Molly, the collie, chaws an auld coo’s been
The catty gnaws a ratty wi its milk an cream.

Skweel denner’s trendy ... Mine’s a pyock
O chips wi a burger an a can o Coke
Kali, frae Bali, in classroom three
Swallaes her chippataes wi a cup o tea
Dod, Jean, n’ Donna, sit doon tae dine
On a parten, an a labster, frae the ocean brine.

Hame tae teas-snuff the smells as roon!
Hairy tatties wyte fur Willy Broon
Pizza fur Peter brocht frae Italy
Omelette fur Jessie bocht in gay Paree
Stir-fry chucken jist fur Mary Ann
Paella fur Bella — chilli fur Sam.
Mary Buchan’s waukin back tae stovies
Mrs Giuseppi’s dishin up anchovies
Jimmy May’ll hae a plate o skirly
Cullen skink is in the pan fur Shirley
An I can tell bi the sea-fish-bree
There’s buckies bilin in the hob fur me!

On wi the jammies — suppertime noo
Shortbreid, cocoa, my kyte’s fu!


Nae yird, nae lift
Anely the snaa    
Doon-drappin
                       frae Hashin
The meen in the water
Brukken brukken brukken
Iverlaistin
                       frae Chosu