Peint wirks winners,
Happen a crack here,
A death-watch beetle there ...
The "For Sale" sign's doon,
Naebody'd buy. Structurally spikkin,
It's nae in a guid wye.

It niver wis soun, i' the first place.
Aa granite,
Nae grace.
A moose his chittered the books.
Up in the laft,
There's a slate loose.

Body o' mine, nae hope o' a shift,
Hivin bedd in ye noo
Langer than thocht'll permit,
Ower coordy fur quittin,
We'll grit it oot,
Till the bitter en'.
Daith'll arrange the flittin.