The makk o man is richt designed
A wummin’s pud tae pleisur
Gin he’s weel-hung, she’ll draa the bung
Tae praise him in guid meisur

An he may chap his tirlin-pin
Her yett tae caa ajee
Fur ilkie merry maid maun hae
A jo tae birzel wi

The mount o Venus boos tae grip
A stick o Adam’s stock
The tappit hen lies doon afore
The crawin o the cock.

In mony’s a hame at dawn o day
The spurtle bangs the coggie
An gin it winna, wives will gie
The guidman’s cod a shoggie

Sae shortsome, shortsome is the nicht
Warmed bi anither’s shanks
Weel leeze-ye ’tween the snawy sheets
Fin luv kicks aff the branks

Some worship lear, an ithers, gear
Gie me a rousin randy
A brawny back, tae stap a crack
Syne heich fur houghmagandie!